My take on Christmas and Loneliness

Posted on December 19, 2011 by Caitlin

I have to say that it took me a minute to understand the topic this month, Christmas and Loneliness. I have been very fortunate and have never experienced loneliness at Christmas time. I however don’t feel that all kinds of loneliness is bad. Sometimes being alone allows you to grow as a person, see things from another’s point of view, and sometimes it helps you understand something you might not have known without the feeling of loneliness. Sometimes I can be in a huge crowd and still feel that feeling of loneliness. I have learned to embrace the loneliness, have it remind me of all the other wonderful feelings I have and learn from it. Loneliness for me can make me stronger as a person, a wiser person, more humble and more compassionate.

-Regina

Christmas and Loneliness

Posted on December 12, 2011 by Caitlin

I’m addicted! To those Hallmark channel holiday movies about Santa, angels and romance! I settle in each night and anticipate living vicariously through the fantasies portrayed on the screen. Tears are shed, cookies are eaten and my heart melts like snow.

On the surface, it would seem natural to want to experience these lovely 2 hour vignettes of joy, miracles and love. Or one might even entertain the thought that I had nothing better to do. Well – there’s always something better to do than to watch TV, but this time of year, I have a craving for a certain type of connection – and the Hallmark Channel seems to satisfy it.

Going deeper, just what is it that I really crave? I am truly blessed in my life with family, friends, joyous and generous holidays, and year-round support. Wonder is no stranger to me, and magic pops into my life quite regularly. At Christmastime, however, there is a heightened awareness in my heart, and I yearn for a way to express that fullness in a special way.

I recall a Christmas many years ago when I was going to be alone. My little daughter was to spend the holidays with her dad, and no one else was around. I was feeling the onset of a deep loneliness during the weeks before Christmas, and feeling soooo sorry for myself. There didn’t seem to be any place for the expression of my overflowing heart.

Then – a few days before Christmas – a thought popped into my head that being alone for Christmas was a rare opportunity. I was sparkling as I realized that I could help someone else have a better Christmas. I decided to volunteer to visit patients who were going to be in the hospital on Christmas Day. I got a list of those who had no one to visit them and went out and purchased little presents for each. I was so excited.

Christmas morning arrived with temperatures of 5 degrees below zero. Armed with a holiday songbook and bursting Christmas stockings, I prayed my car would start. Miraculously (and it WAS a miracle), I made it to the hospital. The rest is history as they say. I was greeted by each patient as if I was an angel. None of them knew I would be there, and no matter what their physical condition, they were completely enveloped in the Christmas spirit. We bonded in a way that only heaven can understand. And no – none of them accepted my invitation to sing Christmas Carols with me. And yes – it was and still is – the most loving, magical, fulfilling Christmas I’ve ever had.

These days when my heart feels displaced around Christmas, I seek a venue for its expression – certainly not difficult in these times. As for the Hallmark movies – I won’t be giving them up too soon. They are my blatant indulgence that satisfies my craving for the heartfelt magic of it all.

May your heart have a Happy Christmas,

-Linda

Definite-ism is a New Level of Commitment

Posted on August 26, 2011 by Lane

It feels really good when I meet my commitments. Commitments can’t be taken lightly. They are our promise, our word and our integrity. Meeting commitments provides a sense of success, progress and accountability. A pattern of meeting commitments also provides the foundation for a “definite-ism” in all things we do.

Definite-ism goes far beyond know how to accomplish some task. It’s more than a high level of confidence. It’s also more than simple optimism. Definite-ism is a knowing that “it will happen”. Our courage, inspiration, passion and mindfulness soar. Decisiveness, determination and drive flow out of definite-ism. Simply put, you are sure of what you are doing. How that needs to be done becomes less significant. Peter Block coined the phrase I love that represents definite-ism: the answer to “how?”… is YES!”

Many of my happiest moments were when I had no clue how to do something, but said “yes”, meant “yes”, and then was determined to meet my commitment. It’s amazing how successful that is.

Just think of the world we would have if more people simply said “YES” more often. I’m not talking about blind, stupid, mindless following. It’s “yes” with a new level of commitment. Holy mackerel would that be fun!

Go say YES to something today and see what happens.
~Lane

Decisively Happy!

Posted on August 26, 2011 by Lane

I was just rereading the “Keys & Codes to Living Good” material from Onionhead and in there it says that “optimism is belief that it can happen; decisiveness is a knowing that it WILL happen”. Being decisive, it is not being firm so you aren’t seen as “wishy washy”… it isn’t making a snap judgment or decision… it isn’t making all the decisions in the partnership… it is a knowing.

Have you ever known deep in your heart that something was right or wrong for you? This knowing gives you courage and the energy to do something, even though you know it is going to be uncomfortable or even painful. It is knowing that once you are through something, you are going to be on the right path and your Higher-self is singing for joy.

The opposite of decisively is doubtfully. Can you imagine living your life in constant doubt? Wondering “‘what-if” all the time? This to me is the path to not living good. When you transform the “what-ifs” by truly listening to your heart for that deep knowing and then decide in a gentle determination, a commitment to something or someone is bound to happen. This commitment to a path or person creates the sweetness of devotion and loyalty.

Decisively is the final letter in L-I-V-I-N-G G-O-O-D. I hope that these blogs have awakened the desire to live good, to live in happiness. There are new wrkshops coming out on how to live in happiness. If you are deciding to be happy, then check out www.harnessinghappiness.com!

~Lesa

Living Decisively

Posted on August 24, 2011 by Lane

Do you know who you are? Could you describe yourself in 25 words or less, so that others would get a good idea of what makes you… well, YOU.

Living decisively is about knowing yourself and playing the role of YOU on the stage of life – not sitting backstage waiting for your ‘cue’ to perform (which may never come). You have to create your own cues which you do by living decisively; that is, by consciously deciding who-what-when-where and how you choose to navigate through life. Your decisions ultimately define who you are.

There are no small decisions. Each one takes you a notch closer to your fuller expression of self – no matter what the outcome. Living decisively fine-tunes and strengthens your imprint in the world. Even deciding not to decide creates a ripple in your cosmic signature – as long as it is a conscious decision and not an unconscious shrug of indifference.

Sometimes we feel as if our back is against the wall. No matter what we decide, a situation does not have the potential to turn out satisfactorily. The anguish we feel is acute in that period of indecision. At times like this, we must be our own heroes and make a decision one way or the other. Once we decide, we can at least go on with life with a long-awaited outbreath of release.

We are not meant to stagnate and play it safe. We are given the gift of life that we may experience a spectrum of challenges and opportunities. Waiting on the sidelines short-changes our potential and deflates our dreams.

Today – at this very moment – we have the choice to be the star in our own life story, or simply twinkle in the background, waiting for the final curtain call. The option – as always – is yours.

~Linda

LIVING Open-Heartedly

Posted on August 23, 2011 by Lane

Most of us spend much of our waking hours protecting our heart for pain. All of that effort to close ourselves has led to rampant desensitization and a lack of concern for others. There you have it: the root of much of our country’s problems is living with a closed heart. There is a coldness, indifference and neglect that permeate a closed-hearted person.
When we open our heart, cracking through the tough shell built around it, we can really begin to know other people more fully. In fact, the ability to have heartfelt concern is core to “seeing” another person. That is a level of concern that allows us to be aware when something is not right. We get an intuition, a feeling, an ache in our heart that tells us that another person standing right there in front of us is in need. Our eyes may miss the cues, but an open heart does not.
Listening to our heart is the first step toward having concern and compassion for others. An open heart can’t tolerate the needless suffering of children or animals. Living open-heartedly means being generous, giving and concerned for others. Our heart sends a message that someone, something, somewhere is in need. The act of doing something — anything — about that message from our heart is LIVING open-heartedly.
~Lane

Living Openheartedly

Posted on August 18, 2011 by Caitlin

I heart-ly know where to begin.

The heart is the 4th chakra of seven – right smack in the middle of the others. It is where we place our hand when we testify in court – or recite the Pledge of Allegiance in public. It is the most common translator in matters of romance, and it is the universal symbol of love.

We use the phrase ‘the heart of the matter’ when we wish to pinpoint the pure core of something. And we take our pulse to indicate how fast or slow the heart is beating as an indicator of our health. The heart is the most consistent guideline we have to determine our physical, emotional and spiritual wellbeing.

Can a heart be broken? Sure feels that way sometimes. But does that mean we don’t allow ourselves to live openheartedly? Look at it this way – life is a fulcrum (like the middle of a see saw). You can sit in the middle and play it safe – never fully engaging your heart. Or you can choose to sit at one end with your destinies balancing out the opposite end. Push off with your legs and see what heights are in store for you. And yes – there will be lows. But if you play it safe, you will never swing toward the sky which is where the heart feels free to soar and fully participate. Even the lows have merit – when the heart is hurting, it is stretching and growing. Besides, you’re not really living if you never experience heartfelt sorrow – tears strengthen our heart and remorse activates the wisdom of our soul.

Living through your heart is much richer than negotiating life exclusively with your mind. Responding to life on automatic pilot leaves out the magic of a heartfelt moment. For instance, when someone may be holding out a sign for help, a lot of us look away or go for the cliché and rationalize that that person will ‘probably use the money inappropriately’, ‘should look for a job’, etc. etc. If we open our heart and put ourselves in that person’s place, I believe we would make a more compassionate assessment. It is our heart that ultimately and intimately connects us to others. Mother Theresa said something like: The rich help the poor, and the poor help the rich. Certainly, going out of your way to help someone is an act of heartfelt caring. I guarantee you’ll feel your heart expanding while accumulating brownie points for your smiling soul.

Living openheartedly is ditching the ‘what’s in it for me’ mentality, and being open to opportunities to be of service to others – it’s random acts of kindness – standing up for what’s right – rescuing animals – being vulnerable – and most of all, saying YES to that still small voice that prompts you with the prudent intelligence of love! Choose to live with an open heart and you activate the eloquence of your soul. It is the choice for those who wish to experience a fulfilling and meaningful life.

… from my heart to yours,

-Linda

Being Open-hearted

Posted on August 17, 2011 by Caitlin

Being open-hearted can be “scary” if you are afraid of being hurt. This is something that I’ve had to work on my entire adult life… being vulnerable seemed like a weakness and something that would guarantee being hurt in the end. What I am learning to be is open, vulnerable with boundaries, and connecting through the heart to others. Trusting that I will be safe, while being open is the way of being that is new for me. Also, being open to the abundance in life is not a natural act. I was taught that you need to work hard and save your money because this is the safe thing to do. What I didn’t see (and am still learning to see) is that this can cut off generosity to others and in turn the generous flow of life back to me.

It all comes down to one word… trust. Without trust, it is impossible to stay open-hearted. I can be open-hearted moments at a time, and then something will trigger a belief that I need to be safe and careful. Which will have my fragile side quickly retract into its shell (like a turtle or a sea creature). From the inside, this shell appears beautiful and safe. From the outside, this shell can appear hard and stingy. The question is, how can I drop the shell, trust that all will be well and swim freely in the water instead of crawling along the bottom of the ocean while still feeling safe? That is something to ponder today…

-Lesa

Feeling My Optimistic Smile

Posted on August 16, 2011 by Caitlin

Have you ever really felt a smile? You know that kind of smile that goes ear to ear. The smile that stops you in your tracks. The smile that is infectious and causes others to start smiling… just like someone else yawning big can easily make you yawn too. Have you ever really FELT a smile?

It begins with a warmness in my heart. Sure, you might say more blood is flowing or endorphins are released. That’s not the warmth I feel though. It is warmth generated out of delight, spontaneously emerging without effort. The feeling lightens me, like gravity has lost its full grip for just a bit. It rises to my head, letting my brain stay in the moment to enjoy the smile and what caused it to beam. The trick is staying with that feeling and making it more a part of my day, each day.

When I’m harnessing life and living optimistically, I can easily feel both my smile and others too. Be happy, delighted and laugh today. Feel your smile!

-Lane

A Cockeyed Optimist

Posted on August 12, 2011 by Caitlin

Have you ever seen the movie or musical “South Pacific”? In that musical, there is a song called “Cockeyed Optimist”. The main character, Nellie sings this lyrics:

I could say life is just a bowl of Jello

And appear more intelligent than smart,

But I’m stuck like a dope

With a thing called hope,

Because I can’t get it out of my heart.

Not this heart…

To me this is what living optimistically is about, living with hope in your heart… even if you look like a dope or not too smart. The reality of a situation can be shifted with hope and optimism, and even if it can’t be changed then you live with the situation with grace. Changing your perspective on a situation can help shift out of depression and move into optimism.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying to push the feelings of a situation underneath the surface to come up again in an unbecoming way. I’m just saying that when I’ve been able to get out of a pessimistic belief set, then I can be happy and joyful and grateful in being a cockeyed optimist! At least I am more pleasant to be around!! (Ask my husband about that…)