I’m addicted! To those Hallmark channel holiday movies about Santa, angels and romance! I settle in each night and anticipate living vicariously through the fantasies portrayed on the screen. Tears are shed, cookies are eaten and my heart melts like snow.
On the surface, it would seem natural to want to experience these lovely 2 hour vignettes of joy, miracles and love. Or one might even entertain the thought that I had nothing better to do. Well – there’s always something better to do than to watch TV, but this time of year, I have a craving for a certain type of connection – and the Hallmark Channel seems to satisfy it.
Going deeper, just what is it that I really crave? I am truly blessed in my life with family, friends, joyous and generous holidays, and year-round support. Wonder is no stranger to me, and magic pops into my life quite regularly. At Christmastime, however, there is a heightened awareness in my heart, and I yearn for a way to express that fullness in a special way.
I recall a Christmas many years ago when I was going to be alone. My little daughter was to spend the holidays with her dad, and no one else was around. I was feeling the onset of a deep loneliness during the weeks before Christmas, and feeling soooo sorry for myself. There didn’t seem to be any place for the expression of my overflowing heart.
Then – a few days before Christmas – a thought popped into my head that being alone for Christmas was a rare opportunity. I was sparkling as I realized that I could help someone else have a better Christmas. I decided to volunteer to visit patients who were going to be in the hospital on Christmas Day. I got a list of those who had no one to visit them and went out and purchased little presents for each. I was so excited.
Christmas morning arrived with temperatures of 5 degrees below zero. Armed with a holiday songbook and bursting Christmas stockings, I prayed my car would start. Miraculously (and it WAS a miracle), I made it to the hospital. The rest is history as they say. I was greeted by each patient as if I was an angel. None of them knew I would be there, and no matter what their physical condition, they were completely enveloped in the Christmas spirit. We bonded in a way that only heaven can understand. And no – none of them accepted my invitation to sing Christmas Carols with me. And yes – it was and still is – the most loving, magical, fulfilling Christmas I’ve ever had.
These days when my heart feels displaced around Christmas, I seek a venue for its expression – certainly not difficult in these times. As for the Hallmark movies – I won’t be giving them up too soon. They are my blatant indulgence that satisfies my craving for the heartfelt magic of it all.
May your heart have a Happy Christmas,